Note to an UnFriend

So you've been unfriended on Facebook and don't know why.  Well, here are some scenarios... 

1. You decide that it might be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex.  After about four days of being "friends," you find out you still don't get along.  In fact, he's a bigger jerk than ever.  Your ex gets the axe.  (Apologies to any of my exes.  If you hadn't made the cut, you probably wouldn't be reading this.)
2. You get invited to a party.  You don't RSVP.  You don't show up either.  So your "friend" doesn't invite you to her party.  Then you don't invite her to your next event because obviously something has broken down in your relationship.  She finds out and starts talking smack about you.  The conclusion is obvious.  Your "friend" gets whacked.
3. You "friend" your boss, clients, and employees.  Those pics of you getting smashed Thursday night show up on Facebook at the same time that you call in sick on Friday.  Not only are you rapidly unfriending a whole heckuva lot of people, you're praying that you still have a job.
4. First you friended Cousin Baby, then Grandma Frieda, then Uncle John, then a whole slew of in-laws until you have a regular family reunion going on.  Not only do you have to listen to all Grandma's aches and pains, you discover that some families are better broken.  Bye-bye, Baby!
5. The guy from the Farmer's Market is nice, so you friend him.  Then it's your hairdresser, and the teenager you bought your cellphone from.  At some point, you have to say, "Why?"  Click!
6. Some people get religion.  Others get politics.  Both types get your blood boiling and your migraine thumping overtime.  Facebook is about connecting, not about stress.  Begone, vile creatures!
7. PMS.
8. Your therapist is out of town.

My friend J has requested a playlist for the occasion of "unfriending" or "being unfriended."  Here you go:

1. "What Have You Done for Me Lately"- Janet Jackson
2. "Are You F*cking Kidding Me"- Kate Miller-Heidke
3. "Crazy Times"- Jars of Clay
4. "People Gotta Lot of Nerve"- Neko Case
5. "Wasting My Time"- Jimmy Page
6. "See My Friends"- The Kinks
7. "Permanent Hurt"- John Hiatt
8. "Friend of Mine"- Lily Allen
9. "I Can't Hide"- Jennifer Warnes
10. "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"- Joe Cocker
11. "Backstabbers"- John Lee Hooker
12. "Those Three Days"- Lucinda Williams
13. "The Fact Remains"- Juliana Hatfield
14. "Chinese Translation"- M. Ward
15. "Calling All Friends"- Low Stars
16. "The Past is a Grotesque Animal"- Of Montreal
17. "The Joke's On Me"- Jordan Zevon
18. "Real, Real, Real"- Jesus Jones